If you’re familiar with Leader Effectiveness Training (L.E.T.), then you know that anyone who has influence in an organization, can also be considered a type of leader–and that ALL levels of people take the workshop, no matter their job title.
So we’ll say if you have influence, you’re a leader. And the kind of leader (or manager, supervisor or team member) you are, will strongly influence, if not determine, what kind of relationships you will have with the people in your group and in the organization.
Considering how much time you spend with these people, this obviously is a matter of importance in choosing your communication style.
At many points throughout his L.E.T. book, Dr. Gordon refers to the impact of power-based authoritarian leadership on the relationship between leaders and group members: how power reduces communication from group members to the leader; how power builds status barriers between leaders and their group members, thus reducing member-initiated interactions; how members cover up their problems and lie about their mistakes; how power generates hostility and resentment; how power, to be effective, requires that people be afraid and dependent; and how power-wielding leaders must guard against getting “buddy-buddy” with their team.
But wait! There’s another logical consequence of your being an authoritarian leader—quite simply, you’ll have much less fun than leaders who don’t depend on power. And by fun, we don’t mean the ubiquitous pizza parties—we mean laughing with others at your own mistakes and limitations, and at theirs; joining with others to tackle a sticky problem and being rewarded with a surprisingly creative solution; sharing your failures openly and without fear of destructive evaluation; watching people grow and develop in their job; relating to others as persons, not as mere positions in the organization.
These kinds of things happen in groups and organizations where relationships are more equalitarian, devoid of fear and resentment.
Do you want helping relationships with people or manipulative and exploitative ones?
The benefits of helping relationships are substantial: seeing people solve their own problems and become less dependent; watching people become more open in discussing their problems; experiencing the personal satisfaction of helping people get their needs met.
And as Dr. Gordon points out in his book, when you help others meet their needs, they are infinitely more willing to make an effort to help you meet yours.
This reciprocal quality invariably develops in relationships when coercive power is eschewed.