A question often asked in our leadership training program is, “What if you can’t come up with a mutually acceptable solution?”
I think the main reason this question comes up so often is that people who have little or no experience with Method III are genuinely skeptical about the chances that people in conflict will find no-lose solutions. They haven’t seen it happen, so they are sure it won’t.
The facts are, it does happen often. But it is also true that sometimes mutually acceptable solutions are hard to find. Stalemates in conflict resolution may develop because the parties did not follow the six steps of the problem-solving process. Or one (or both) of the contestants is still in a win-lose posture and a power-struggle frame of mind. And, needless to say, some conflicts are so complex that it takes a lot of creativity and resourcefulness to come up with good solutions.
Here are methods that have sometimes worked when a mutually acceptable solution is slow in coming:
1. Go back to Step II and try to generate additional alternative solutions.
2. Go back to Step I and try to redefine the problem—there may be an underlying problem that is not being talked about—a “hidden agenda.”
3. Make a direct appeal to the people involved, such as, “Can anyone help us understand why we’re having trouble finding an acceptable solution? What is impeding us?”
4. See if everyone involved would be willing to “sleep on it” and resume problem-solving later.
5. Ask if more study is needed, more data, additional facts. If so, a task group could be assigned the job and asked to report back to the group. Or maybe a pilot study can be conducted.
6. Perhaps the group would consider calling in an outside consultant.
7. Focus again on the respective needs of the parties so as to get away from competing solutions.
8. If there are sufficient reasons why a solution must be reached now or very soon, inform the others of these time pressures and the consequences of failing to meet them.
9. See if the group would be willing to try out one of the solutions for a limited period on an experimental basis.