How many times have we heard about the importance of building the right culture to fit our organization’s profile? If you’re like me, probably more times that you can shake an iPhone at. Building the right culture is no small task—it requires us to search out and hire people who share similar values, beliefs, attitudes and ethics. Why is this so important? People who share more similarities than differences work better together and hence, are much more productive. Put them all together for 40 or more hours per week and friendships will inevitably develop. Most will remain strictly professional, but a few may develop into stronger, and more personal long-term relationships.
This is all fine and dandy, as long as those friendships are built on the same hierarchal level. However, when strong, personal friendships begin to develop between managers and employees, dangerous and risky lines will be crossed, and such relationships are often unsustainable, destined to implode. It’s up to the manager to define and draw which lines not to cross for six obvious reasons:
1. We’re all familiar with the technique some employees have of buttering up the boss, getting as close as possible to further his or her own agenda. Sometimes this buttering up is very obvious, and other times, the compliments, attitudes and behaviors appear to be quite genuine and authentic. As a leader who writes reviews, determines raises or cuts in pay and hands out promotions or demotions, you will be played. You know what they say—don’t hate the player, hate the game.
2. As much as you may try to hide it, your “office-mance” will be obvious to others. Anything and everything you do for your office friend, such as granting a promotion, will be viewed as favoritism, even if he or she is most deserving. This will create polarizing relationships making your life much harder and your integrity may be questioned.
3. Once your boss picks up on the scent of your friendship, your credibility with him or her will also be questioned, affecting your future with the company. (See how deep it’s getting?)
4. When your office friend gets a little too casual – runs late for meetings, under-performs or when there is a shift in his or her attitude, you’ll inevitably be forced into a position to take corrective action. If you have a problem with confrontation, this will be especially difficult.
5. If the day comes when you need to lay-off your friend due to budget cuts, or terminate him or her due to performance-related issues, not only is your friendship over, you just angered someone who knows more about you than he or she probably should. You’ll be worried about what information may be used against you or where it may show up to damage your reputation or affect the relationships you have with others. That’s a level of stress you don’t need.
6. If you discover you were in fact being played (see #1), your credibility and reputation will take a hit, and don’t forget about the feelings of embarrassment.
If you find yourself in this position, the best course of action is to respectfully retreat, strictly for professional reasons. These manager-employee off-hours, fishin’ buddy relationships are all too common, but equally common are stories of such relationships turning ugly, costing the manager his job, or worse, reputation. These are the kind of friendships no one can afford.